Screaming meanies

Or rather, screaming mommies. It’s a terrible, terrible moment when it first happens to you — the usually benevolent and loving mother transforms into a tyrant — and terrible every time after that.

My friend Gail send me this funny and honest piece by Lisa Belkin at nytimes.com on why, sometimes, a harshly spoken word may not be that bad. Belkin makes a good case.  Kids need to know that anger is an acceptable emotion, as long as its not abusive.

But I still contend (and as perfect a mother as I vowed to be, woe is me, I’ve had my tantrums) that children shouldn’t be yelled at and this doesn’t make kids behave. It makes them cower. Or retreat. Or rebel.

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2 Comments

Filed under Moms Behaving Badly, Neurotic mom, Parenting advice

2 responses to “Screaming meanies

  1. relavak

    I have now had my 15 minutes of fame, now that I am mentioned in your blog. I was afraid you were going to recount the other anecdote….!

  2. Elizabeth Crane

    I remember writing about turning into the Incredible Hulking Mommy. As the kids get older I see that green reflection in the mirror less and less (I think I get more sleep these days, too, and that helps). While I agree that showing anger and showing how to get past and apologize for blowing your stack is important, I’m still monumentally uncomfortable with yelling. My husband (of Italian descent) is prone to yelling, and although I know he doesn’t mean much more than “I’m mad! I’m yelling about it!” I (who come from a household without yelling) still feel attacked. It will be interesting to see on which side of this divide the kids choose to fall.

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